Don't Yell At The Two Year Old

Hello friend! Thanks for being here. I want to start this newsletter by sharing something that came up for me a lot this last week. Uncomfy feelings. Do you know what I’m talking about? The heavy feelings that feel so uncomfortable you just wanna run away from them and hide under a rock. The ones that I tend to resist and then later spiral, crash, and burn. Yeah those feelings. They were very present for me this last week and I would be lying if I said I handled all of them perfectly, cuz that definitely is far from the truth, but I want to share something I heard that helped me. A couple weeks ago I listened to a podcast on jealousy and in the podcast she talked about how when jealousy comes up for her, she asks herself what jealousy is telling her about what she truly desires. I really like the concept of this and have found it to be very useful when it comes to feeling not only jealousy but just uncomfortable feelings in general.

I had feelings that came up for me last week like feeling sad, bummed, judgement, failure, and shame. My first reaction to all of these feelings was to immediately shut down and or react (which is what I normally do), but as each one of these feelings came up for me, that question came to my mind, “what is this feeling trying to tell me?” I found that not only am I not the feeling that I am feeling, but the feeling is coming up for me because there is something deeper that my body is trying to tell me. If I can pause for just a moment and ask myself the question, “what is this feeling trying to tell me?” then it opens up so much more acceptance, understanding, and room for growth. As someone who is the queen of resisting uncomfy feelings, I can honestly say this helped me a ton. It didn’t take all the heavy feelings away but it gave me just enough room to practice self love (which for me seems to almost always be the root of my problems). Sadness came up for me because I wasn’t giving myself the love + understanding that I needed. Bummed came up for because I was needing connection and felt like I wasn’t able to get that. Judgement came up because I would’ve handled a situation differently and not only was in judgement toward others but I was really in judgement toward myself. Failure came up because of unrealistic expectations I placed for myself and the lack of grace I needed in that moment. Shame came up when I was placing all of my worth on how I was thinking, feeling, or acting. Although it was a week of uncomfortable feelings, it was also a week I was able to learn a lot about myself and what I really need. Oftentimes feelings show up for us on the surface but it’s because something is not getting our attention underneath the surface.

Let me give you an example that hopefully helps. I have two yr old twins and man do they need lots of attention. If one is content, the other is not. If one isn’t needing me, the other is at my feet bugging me until I meet her every need. When both of my twins don’t get what they want or feel like I am listening to them, they keep bugging and bugging. Eventually their bugging turns into yelling and then yelling turns into screaming with lots of tears. We really are no different. There are things we need that our feelings on the surface try to tell us. Our feelings will bug and bug us, but if we don’t listen and try to figure out what the root problem is, we turn into the two year old that is screaming and crying because we aren’t listening! How would you respond to that two year old? Are you gonna lose your crap on them because YOU aren’t listening or are you going to get down on their level and say, “what do you need? Show me what you need. Tell me what you need. I’m listening now.”

I want to invite you to ask yourself this question if you experience any uncomfy/heavy feelings this week, “what is this feeling trying to tell me? What is going on deeper?” It takes a lot of patience and practice. I’m still working on this myself. But I know that if we can get curious, and try to find out the answer with compassion, we will find the answer from within. Our body has the answer, we just need to be willing to receive it. If you are wanting help with this, I would LOVE to help you. Please feel free to reach out over email, DMs on Insta, or click the link below and sign up for a free call. As always, YOU GOT THIS! Have a great week.

XOXO

Sav