Learning To Be My Own Best Friend

I heard a story of a girl who was on a hiking trip with a group of people she had never met. Somewhere along the hike, she was talking to a woman who said, “I’m learning to be my own best friend.” The girl was thrown off by this comment and instantly felt like she couldn’t relate. She felt like she was constantly at war with herself. After realizing she didn’t consider herself a friend, she took the journey to heal herself. Learning to be your own best friend. What does that look like to you? Think of the best friends you have in your own life. What makes them your best friend? I think of the best friends I have in my life. We talk almost everyday, we lean on each other, confide in each other, laugh with each other, and cry with each other. If I went to one of my best friends in a dark hard moment, they wouldn’t belittle me or judge me. They would sit with me. That’s how I wanna get with myself. I wanna love myself like I love my best friends.

If you made a list of all the things you loved, how long would your list be until you put yourself? Self love and learning to be my own best friend has been a long journey for me. A journey I don’t know if I will ever completely finish in this lifetime. It’s a journey with lots of detours, mountains, and not giving up. It’s also going to look very different to all of us at different points in our lives. I want to be able to take the journey with a smile on my face and tell anyone who sees me hiking along, “I’m learning to be my own best friend!” When I make a list of all the things I love, I want to get to a point where I put myself near the top.

So how do we do it? Here’s one idea you can implement in your daily life that will help you get there. When negative self talk shows up for you during your day, ask yourself, ‘if the roles were reversed and a friend did what I am beating myself up for, what would I say to THEM?’ (You also don’t have to use a friend. You can use the idea of talking to your child, loved one, or even you as a child). Would you yell at them and tell them how dumb they are for making a mistake? Would you shame them for what they ate, said, or the feelings they are feeling? Or would you get down to their level with compassion and understanding? Whatever you would say to your friend, child, loved one, or inner child, that is what you start saying to yourself. That is your go to response from here on out! We all have that inner critic that doesn’t shut up in our head. It’s constantly looking for all of our failures and mistakes. Hush that stinker inner critic with some positive self talk. Sometimes, when my inner critic is really loud, I respond out loud. I close my eyes and think of my person. I then speak to them out loud, in response to what my inner critic is saying. Give it a try for a week and see what happens. Like all life changing things, it takes time and practice. Keep trying. Be aware of the things you tell yourself. Learn to be your own best friend. You deserve it. I promise you got this!

XOXO

Sav